10 tips to get through your work week
Yeah...so, it’s been one h*ll of a work week, huh?!?
How’s a person supposed to focus when everyone’s glued to their iPhone watching what’s happening with the presidential election and keeping an eye on the rising COVID-19 numbers? Damn near impossible, really. BUT, we’re here to offer you 10 helpful tips to get you through your work week.
1 - Don't forget your ear buds
These are crucial to tune out your co-workers who can’t stop fighting about Trump’s orange spray tan and Biden’s glowing white teeth.
2 - Make a playlist of retro jams
When you’re ready to slay Karen if she nitpicks one more thing, pop over to Spotify and check out the playlist we made you. (You’re welcome!)
3 - Pack a lunch that isn't smelly
Seriously. No one can stand the smell of tuna all day. Just because it’s helping you build your biceps, that’s no excuse to stankify the office. Yes, stankify is a word, and you don’t want to do it.
4 - Whisper “What the f*ck” to yourself at least 20 times per day
The key here is not to say it out loud, and to mutter it at just the right time so you avoid killing someone with the laser beams threatening to shoot out of your eyes.
5 - Plan what drink you’re having that night
There are so many choices of wine and gin that you must spend enough time each day deliberating on the proper one for that evening’s meal. Don’t worry if you miss your project deadline, this is way more important.
6 - Work on your face muscles
See how many times you can make ridiculous faces at your co-workers before you get caught. This is also appropriate on a Zoom meeting to see if anyone will call you out on it. Pro Tip: Forget about taking notes. Instead, see how slowly you can raise just one eyebrow and hold it up there.
7 - Have the best seat in the office
Desk chairs are lame. Swap yours for an exercise ball chair and bounce up and down all day long. Your coworker will love seeing the top of your head repeatedly bobbing up and down over the desk partition. We’ve heard it helps with focus.
8 - Dress to impress
Show up in a 1970’s leisure suit one day and 80’s style fluorescent leg warmers the next. Bring back the 90’s goth look after that to keep your style fresh. It’s just rude to be predictable in a gray suit every day.
9 - Decorate for inspiration
No one likes a boring desk area. Jazz that sh*t up! Lots of cats pictures and Nicolas Cage photos everywhere should do the trick. Accent with extra potpourri for bonus points. There’s nothing like a good headache from too much perfume in the air to really help the work day pass.
10 - Get there late and leave early.
Just kidding. You’d get fired. But it would be sweet, wouldn’t it??